Do you remember Pizza Spread? It was this crazy product that came in a can, that had a plastic lid included for when the can had been opened. It was this weird mix of tomato sauce, cheese bits and pieces of pepperoni that you spread on a piece of toast and put it under the broiler for a few seconds, and sim sala bim, you had a pizza. I remember liking the taste, but being revolted by the texture of it cold, out of the can. It had the consistency of dog/cat food, smelled strange, but somehow made this remarkable cellular change when heated that improved the look, taste, smell and texture into a tasty treat.
How about fruit flavoured potato chips? I went to St.Joseph's catholic school here in Woodstock from grades JK-Gr.4. Those were the days when in grade 3 and 4, I was allowed to drive my bike to school, by myself. Now that I'm a parent of two, I can't imagine them doing that once they reach the same age...times are different, but that's the subject for another blog...let's get back on track, shall we. On my route to and from school I would pass Nash's Variety on Huron St. Occasionally I was given a dollar to spend on the way home with my friends. You're thinking, "A whole dollar you say?", but hey, those days that was more than enough for a bag of chips ($0.25), a small bottle of pop ($0.25), and maybe a chocolate bar, too. ($0.35). Some days you felt sassy and bought a chunk of sponge toffee, some bottle caps or maybe a pack of hot cinnamon tooth pics, and don't get me started on the plethora of penny candy to choose from straight out of the wide-open, unsanitary, every kid reaching in with their snot covered hand, boxes. But guess what..we never got sick from it, not even once. One day on the drive home, we stopped in for nourishment and found a brand-new display of Hostess Fruit Flavoured Potato Chips! That seemed right! We loved salty chips, and we loved fruit, so why shouldn't they taste amazing together, right? Well, just like Homer's "Nuts'n'gum", some things aren't good together. There were cherry, orange and grape flavours. We all bought different flavours so we could go outside and taste them all, and one after another, we all had the same horrible reactions. I remember that none of us finished our bags, which was saying something, because back then when you finished a bag of chips, you crumpled of the heavy-gauge foil bag and had an awesome, sharp edged ball that could inflict some serious damage as a projectile. It was the prize at the end of your snack.
Finally, and it's probably still around in the U.S. (from whence it came) is Yoohoo, the chocolate flavoured soda. It was featured on an episode of Seinfeld a few years ago (The Bubble Boy's father was a Yoohoo delivery guy). Anyway, here in "The Stock" I found it at Variety King, a variety store on Dundas St. in the strip mall/apartment unit next to the Beaver Gas station. At first glance it reminded me of a fresh brewed pot of toilet coffee (sorry to be so vulgar, but I like that description better than 'diahrea water') I know some liked it, and I just had to try it, but I will sum it up with one word: gross.
All for now.
G'night.
Made me laugh and my husband too
ReplyDelete